So there is this Vikram at work, who is a hundred times more fun, more interesting, more like me than Bhavin. When I got to know all that Vikram was, I realised there are so many interesting people in the world and I should actively try to meet such people. Vikram, for me, is the broadening of that horizon. He is that turn. He is when I stopped looking at could-have-beens and decided to meet someone new. He has a girlfriend and he seems happy with her. So not him. But someone like him. And I will find someone like him, I guess. He should only find me someone, considering he is my "daddy". :P
But, when I get into this one place in Baroda, subconsciously, despite the rains, I dress up in Vero Moda and don Steve Maddens! I dress to ensure HE regrets his decision to choose someone over me. AND, the moment I enter the darned place, the familiarity just comes back. I cannot look into his eyes and smile my happy sunny smile. It is always restricted, because, I am like, "Fuck! He looks good!" The comfort and the awareness never wane. The fact that he chose to wear a shirt on the days he knows I am coming never goes unnoticed. Following him with my eyes and knowing full well he will be doing the same most of the time never stops.
What I love about Vikram is how he ends up sitting next to me and eating from my plate. Vikram is, more than anything, my FRIEND. I love all the brightness and the colour he brings to my world. I LOVE how he lives it up. He is someone who shows me the way. I was deeply touched when he called me to watch the Janmashtami celebrations. I love how he has a little smile on his face at my exuberence. I love him and all that he is because he is so amazing! He is someone I aspire to become. He really will arrive at his grave skidding through life at breakneck speed with all the interesting things he manages to fit into his life.
And, when a plateful on French Fries arrive in front of me, and when HE picks up one or two once in a while and starts eating, I am reminded of Vikram. But, here is what HE does. So, there is one French Fry (I don't think you can call it that in singular) left on the plate and he picks it up and eats it up and I reach for it a second too late. I feel for it with my fingers while still in conversation with someone else on the table. I realize a second later the plate is empty and I look at him and he looks at me and, then, he ducks away from me and gives me this mischievous half-smiling look, with a little twinkle in his eyes, and, oh! Who the fuck is Vikram now? All I see is those familiar eyes filled with laughter and a barely-contained smile - I don't think we have given each other BIG full smiles since December 2010 - but, in a span of a couple of seconds, there is a moment. Our moment. That only he and I understand and smile about. And, then, the moment is gone. I stare into the papers and look away and sink into another conversation to desperately block any conscious thought about what just happened. But, I will not look at French Fries again without smiling. And remembering him and his white shirt and his smiley twinkly eyes.
:-)
But, when I get into this one place in Baroda, subconsciously, despite the rains, I dress up in Vero Moda and don Steve Maddens! I dress to ensure HE regrets his decision to choose someone over me. AND, the moment I enter the darned place, the familiarity just comes back. I cannot look into his eyes and smile my happy sunny smile. It is always restricted, because, I am like, "Fuck! He looks good!" The comfort and the awareness never wane. The fact that he chose to wear a shirt on the days he knows I am coming never goes unnoticed. Following him with my eyes and knowing full well he will be doing the same most of the time never stops.
What I love about Vikram is how he ends up sitting next to me and eating from my plate. Vikram is, more than anything, my FRIEND. I love all the brightness and the colour he brings to my world. I LOVE how he lives it up. He is someone who shows me the way. I was deeply touched when he called me to watch the Janmashtami celebrations. I love how he has a little smile on his face at my exuberence. I love him and all that he is because he is so amazing! He is someone I aspire to become. He really will arrive at his grave skidding through life at breakneck speed with all the interesting things he manages to fit into his life.
And, when a plateful on French Fries arrive in front of me, and when HE picks up one or two once in a while and starts eating, I am reminded of Vikram. But, here is what HE does. So, there is one French Fry (I don't think you can call it that in singular) left on the plate and he picks it up and eats it up and I reach for it a second too late. I feel for it with my fingers while still in conversation with someone else on the table. I realize a second later the plate is empty and I look at him and he looks at me and, then, he ducks away from me and gives me this mischievous half-smiling look, with a little twinkle in his eyes, and, oh! Who the fuck is Vikram now? All I see is those familiar eyes filled with laughter and a barely-contained smile - I don't think we have given each other BIG full smiles since December 2010 - but, in a span of a couple of seconds, there is a moment. Our moment. That only he and I understand and smile about. And, then, the moment is gone. I stare into the papers and look away and sink into another conversation to desperately block any conscious thought about what just happened. But, I will not look at French Fries again without smiling. And remembering him and his white shirt and his smiley twinkly eyes.
:-)
